So it has come, the end of 2016 and overall it has been a great year for me as far as how I've been feeling physically, but then the cold snap hit. About two weeks ago we were hit with single digit days and below zero nights and my body hasn't been the same since. Even though the temps have gone back up to the 20's and 30's I seriously feel as though I have been hit by a truck. Here's how bad it is. I went from feeling good and doing fine, to feeling stiff as a board and not wanting to move. (My massage therapist had to use the collision protocol on me, he said my body felt like that of someone who had been in a severe car accident, however that is not what happened to me.) So I wasn't too off the mark when I said that I felt like I had been hit by a truck.
The other night I went to my company Christmas party. I was so looking forward to it all month long. However, I had to work that day prior to the party. Then it got busy so I stayed a little later than I usually would if it hadn't gotten busy. I could barely hold myself up when I was off and then I had to go meet up with my date before the party so we could go together.
Needless to say I was in so much pain when I walked into his office (so he could leave work early and join me in this pre-determined engagement that was my party), that I could barely give him a hug and could do nothing more than just sit across from his desk wishing for sleep and to never have to stand again.
What's worse is that before I even made it to his work, I got slightly turned around and it took me twice as long as it normally would have to get there because I was so tired, it was dark, and I felt so drained I likely should not have been driving. (I am noticing now that there is a trend in me feeling so exhausted after work some days that driving really isn't what I should be doing.)
We get to the party and thank God the food was set up, even though we were early, I filled up a plate and had to eat. I was so freaking hungry after work and this was an hour later. I felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't eat NOW. I had really hoped that eating would help me and I would get lively once my belly was full.
Unfortunately that was not the case, everyone played corn hole, and though I never wanted to stand again I toughed it out and ended up playing two games, because my date really wanted to play and I felt that if I didn't I would have ended up passed out at the table instead. I had fun and enjoyed my co-workers, but it would have been so much more fun if I wasn't in so much pain.
I hurt all over, so much so that even after getting home that night, and taking a bath, I was still hurting and couldn't sleep due to the severe pain in my body. It's times likes these when I feel so alone, I feel so isolated, and so scared. It feels scary when nothing you do helps, when your body feels like it's giving up on you, and it's all you can do to smile and bear it in public, then lay in your bed at home and not move unless you have to.
Before we left my date told me what a trooper I was for making it as long as I did and even getting up and playing the game. He said he had fun, so for that it wasn't a complete waste. I hadn't seen him in a while and it was good to spend time together and have him meet the gals I work with who are like family to me in ways. It's just unfortunate for me to have to endure what should have been a pleasant evening with so much pain and inner turmoil.
This is what life is like for someone with Lyme Disease.
We have our good days and our bad days.
And we never know when they will hit or which day will be what until it's happening.
Wanting to join in, but fighting the inner fight of should I or should't I with this pain that I have?
It's a journey that's for sure.
Do any of you relate?
Please share some of your own stories.
Blessings dear friends.