Being honest with yourself is really about noticing your feelings, feeling your feelings, not judging yourself for your feelings, and expressing your feelings without blaming others for those feelings. This last part is crucial because it's not about what the other person is doing or saying, it's not about whether they or you are right or wrong, it's about how you feel, it's about how certain things make you feel in certain ways, and it's about honoring yourself in the knowing of those things.
The importance of all this is to find what makes you feel good, what brings joy to your life, and doing what feels best and right for you. The other thing that is important is that this also helps you to notice and see when things don't feel good and choosing a different experience and choosing to be around those who make you feel good instead of feeling bad or yucky.
The key to getting in touch with your feelings and realizing what feelings are coming up for you and when, is being totally honest with yourself about your feelings. It is so easy to brush off a feeling and talk yourself out of a feeling or try to justify why you shouldn't feel that feeling, but those things actually hurt us in the long run. When you start to be totally honest with yourself about your experience, about what you are feeling and why, that is when you can start choosing better for yourself.
Noticing when you don't feel good or are having an experience with someone else that doesn't feel good doesn't necessarily mean that what is going on is bad or the other person is bad, what it really means is that there is something going on within you that is triggering something from your past, whether known or unknown to you, and it is effecting you in a way that feels "bad." The first step to figuring out what that is would be to just notice when these feelings come up. Once you notice the feelings, the second step is to name the feelings. Get in touch with your inner self and start to name your feelings, such as: I feel sad, hurt, angry, frustrated, irritated, ect. Which will bring forth the deeper rooted feelings: feeling abandoned, feeling rejected, feeling unworthy, feeling unsafe, feeling uncertain, feeling scared, ect. The third step in all this is being curious about yourself and figuring out where these feelings originated. Once you find where and when they originated, then you can start to heal them, and as you heal them, they will become less bothersome in your life, and when they do come up you will have the tools that help you deal with them in healthy ways so they don't effect your life in negative ways anymore.
Feelings exist within us so we can heal the things that have been programmed into us as young children, or from our past traumas, from childhood or adult experiences, then we can start to go through life feeling good and happy about where we are going. If you don't presently feel that way, it's very likely that there is something from your past that is still playing out in your present, even though it no longer exists in the present moment.
You know you need to get in touch with your feelings when you project your beliefs onto others, when you believe your perceptions are the only reality or only truth, when your belief systems are overly negative, when you are playing out your parents old programs, when you have a closed minded view of what is possible, when you feel stuck, when you feel like life is hard, and so forth. These are all signs that you are living out your life from old negative based programs that no longer serve you.
Be open to letting these old programs go, be willing to listen to your inner self and feel your feelings. Allow yourself to heal and live the life of your dreams.
How does this topic make you feel?
What comes up for you when you read this post?
Do you need help in navigating these feelings?
Contact me today.
Blessings to you all.