Do What is Best and Right for You
If you are with someone and they are doing or saying something, or acting in a way that doesn't feel good to you express it. Don't stuff down those emotions, don't talk down to yourself or judge yourself for having those feelings, allow yourself to not only acknowledge the feelings, but also let them be heard. If you ever feel bad, hurt, upset, irritated, angry, ect. because of something that is being said or done by another in your life you must honor that and let them know in a way they can hear you. By telling them how it makes you FEEL without putting blame into the situation you are more likely to be heard.
It's not about them or what they are saying or doing really, it's about how you are feeling when those things are happening. If the other person genuinely cares for you then they will take into consideration how it makes you feel and not want to do it again. If you share your feelings and they keep doing or saying that "thing" then one of a few things may be going on. One - they didn't hear you, Two - they didn't fully listen when you expressed your feelings, Three - they just don't care or don't have the capacity to care. There are many people out there who have so much of their own "stuff" that they are unable to even hear or see another when they share their "stuff." And that is okay, just be willing to understand that they are not capable of showing up for you because they are unable to show up for themselves. Choose someone else. Find out if they didn't hear you or fully listen, ask them if they remember what you shared about that action and how it makes you feel and see if they can tell you. If not, reiterate it for them, and hopefully they will choose to stop, if not, then leave. If you feel that you have expressed yourself numerous times and things still haven't changed, then that is when it likely means they don't or can't care, if they are not taking your feelings into consideration then you should reevaluate whether or not this is a person you want to keep in your life knowing what you know now. It may be that they just don't have the capacity to interact with you in a way that honors you both and is just unable to hear you or see you because they are so intertwined with their own issues. Be willing to let them go if that is the case. No one can help them but themselves, just as no one can help you but yourself. We as individuals have to be the ones who choose to change and be better people, then seek out ways to do that.
You want people in your life who care for you and really listen to you, you want people in your life who want to honor you and your feelings, who will genuinely care and want you to be happy and feel good. If someone is not doing that for you, your feelings must be shared, otherwise they have no idea that you feel this way, then once you share, you can observe and see what they do with that information. Do they keep doing what makes you feel "bad" or are they trying to do better?
If they are trying to do better, honor them and praise them for being considerate of your feelings and for making an effort. It means that they did hear you and they do care. Changing habits takes time and understand that as long as they are making an effort that is what matters. It shows that they want to do better for you. If they mindlessly keep doing that "thing" and don't seem to notice that you feel a certain way about it, even when you have expressed it to them, then it's time to think about distancing yourself from that person, or even leaving them out of your life completely. They may be one of those who just isn't able to hear you or see you, because of their own stuff. They haven't worked on themselves, as you are now working on yourself. It's their choice, and you have a choice to stay in this dynamic or choose something better. Don't blame them for their position, just let it go and focus on yourself and how you feel.
You deserve so much better than that, you deserve to have people in your life who honor you and cherish you. Who show you kindness and respect. Especially when it comes to your feelings. The important part of this though is noticing your feelings and honoring them yourself first. You can't expect another person to know or see how you are feeling if you don't notice or see them yourself.
Get in touch with your feelings, really notice how certain situations and certain people make you feel when you are around them. Keep a journal and take notes if that helps you. Notice what feels good and what doesn't feel good and do more of what makes you feel good. Start to distance yourself from those things or people that make you feel bad or are always negative. Realize when it has nothing to do with the other person, and everything to do with what's going on within you and how you are feeling. Then allow yourself to share it. Only then can change happen, within yourself and others. And if they don't or can't hear you when you share, reevaluate if this is a person you can stay in contact with or not, based on what you want for yourself and your life.
There are of course those people in the world who are negative, live from a place of complaint, fear, and lack and try to impose those beliefs onto others. You have a choice to make, do you want to take on those same beliefs, or do you want to choose a better mindset. Choose what is best and right for you, choose what feels good, light, and uplifting. Allow yourself to let of those things and beliefs that feel heavy, dark, and brings you down. Life is too short to live from that space.
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How does this make you feel?
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Blessings beautiful souls.