Just this last weekend my brother came to visit and stay at his property which is about a 25 minute drive from my house. I was supposed to go up and hang out with him and his family on Friday, but it didn't happen because that morning I woke up feeling really yucky. I felt lethargic and drained, I just didn't want to get out of bed. I actually went back to bed and stayed curled up there until 1:00 in the afternoon when I got up to eat lunch and get ready for an event that I had to go to that evening. Which I am glad was pretty mellow for me under the circumstances.
I felt really bad that I had told my brother I would be there and then I wasn't able to go. Even though I did message him about the situation and said I was sorry. Sometimes I just get so fatigued and need that extra rest, and unfortunately I never know when it's going to happen until it does. So that makes me have to cancel on things I said I would do at times, and I really don't like it. It isn't like me to bail on plans, but when your body says it's time to rest, and you literally feel so weak that there is no other option, you do what you have to do for your health and well-being. Even if that means missing out on some things or canceling plans that had been made.
I know it's likely really hard and frustrating for my loved ones, my friends, and family. They don't know what it's like to be in this body dealing with what I am dealing with. They don't understand that it can pop up at any time without notice. I know they try, but you really don't know what it's like unless you have truly been there.
So here I am again chatting about another moment where I wasn't able to do what I really wanted to do because of something internal. Something that I can't control. I can maintain it well enough most days, but I still never know when I am going to have one of my "bad" days and stay in bed.
I am so thankful and grateful that I am doing so well, when this all first hit me I could barely do anything at all. I could barely hold myself up most days. At least I have improved immensely from that. I am so grateful that I have the ability to heal and have way more good days than bad ones now. There is that.
Have any of you had a similar situation happen?
Are you also dealing with Lyme Disease or other health issue and find it hard to do what you used to love.
It's difficult at times, and it's hard to leave a huge part of who you once were behind because you have to. I often want to go out dancing again, I used to dance two to three nights a week. I would love to hike two to three days a week again, but I am lucky if I get out and do it that many times in a month now. I am grateful though that I am able to go hiking now and then, because for a time I was worried that I would never be able to again. I used to love spending time at the beach and swimming all summer, but I have just realized why it's not so appealing anymore. I went to the beach the other day for the first time this season and swam a bit, and that's all I could do was just a bit, because I started to feel weak, fatigued, and shaky just from a little swimming. So I had to get out of the water and lay on my blanket on the beach until the shakiness left me. I did get back in the water once more for an even shorter amount of time because it all happened again. I can't even enjoy one of my favorite summer past times because my body can't handle it anymore. It makes summer less enjoyable and not that appealing. I am already looking forward to Autumn. Which is my favorite time of year anyway, but even more so now because summers have been ruined for me. At least for now. Maybe some day I will be able to swim again without feeling weak and fatigued so easily. I did get to a point where I was able to hike again, so lets hope for swimming to be next.
What have you experienced if you too are going through a healing journey?
Is there anything you miss and would love to do again?
Please comment and share below.
Blessings beautiful souls.